Youth Ministry “Trick” #2

I love Jr. Highers.  We lovingly call them maggots.  When they get to 9th grade, they are promoted to “scrub” status.  It’s the maggots and scrubs that require the most patience.  Things get a little more complicated from 10th grade on.  That’s when DISCERNMENT really comes in.  Yeah, you’ll still need loads of patience, but it is discernment that lets you know when it is appropriate for patience to run out!  Clear as mud?  Let me explain it this way…

Consider Solomon in I Kings 3:5-12.  “Ask what I shall give thee,” God told Solomon.  Imagine that.  Solomon doesn’t ask for wealth, fame or a long life.  He asks God for “an understanding heart … that I may discern between good and bad… “  Solomon believed the single most important thing he needed to be an effective leader was discernment.  I think this holds true in youth ministry.  Y’know what, the older my offspring get, the more I realize how important this is in parenting, as well!

When a teen does something wrong, the youth leader with an intellectual understanding of leadership will be quick to bring judgement.  Rather, the youth leader with an “understanding heart” will consider the motives behind the wrong.  Sometimes it’s rebellion.  Sometimes it’s immaturity.  Sometimes it’s the outcry of a desperately hurting heart.  These must be dealt with in different ways.  If you deal with an immature act as if it were an act of rebellion, you can really frustrate a young person.  Immaturity can be guided and taught.  Rebellion must be punished.  If you treat the hurting heart as if it were in rebellion, discouragement can turn into hopeless despair very quickly.  You don’t want that on your list of accomplishments.

Ever heard of ketchup bombs?  Just take those little ketchup packets and twist ‘em up real tight and you have a tomato-based land mine ready to make a mess.  I was the victim of four of those early on in my ministry.  I had this pip-squeak of a maggot named James who put ketchup bombs under each tire of my 1991 Mazda Protege.  I was backing up and a whole group of maggots started cracking up.  No biggie, I know, but this was on the day of my very first youth rally.  About 500 teens were on their way, and I so wanted everything to go well.  I was incredibly nervous.  I had a lot to do!  How dare he add to my stress?  I yelled at the maggot in a fit of rage.  Poor guy.  I can still see the shock and confusion on his face.  Now this is an example of the immaturity of a Jr. Higher… and the immaturity of a young youth director.

It can be tough to figure out the motives of young people.  They can manipulate the circumstances of their lives and even put on a good show.  They can play the part of the victim or, maybe, they really are a victim.  It’s all about discerment.  We all need it.  Some of us really want it.  How do we get it?  Well, how did Solomon get it?  He asked.

But it’s also important how he asked.  He asked with a heart of gratitude (verse 6).  He asked in humility (7).  He asked with a sense of awe over the work of God before him (8).

So check your heart.  Then ask.

Famous Dave for President!

Republican, Democrat, Libertarian…  I don’t really care.  Green Party.  Communist.  Palestinian Liberation Organization.  Hey, if Dave Anderson runs for president, I’ll volunteer to fire up the smoker at a rally!  Famous Dave’s is one of the fastest growing BBQ chains in the country for a reason.  Dave knows BBQ and he knows how to run a corporation.  That’s what I call executive experience, something Sarah Palin was attacked for and something President Barack Obama has had just over a week of… for the first time since being a community organizer!  Okay, okay, enough politics…

Yesterday, a bunch of young couples (mostly from my church) went to visit Dave in Long Beach.  There were 25 of us, five couples, the rest wild animals children.  With those kinds of numbers, I’ve decided to officially name this meeting, “C.A.R.E.: Couples Attuned to Replenishing the Earth.”  One couple (John and Miriam) have yet to venture into this part of life.  This crazy day, that included three kindergartners, may have discouraged them from ever having children.  Nonetheless, we’re glad they joined us.

John and Miriam are smiling because they don't have to pay for any kids!

The 2009 C.A.R.E. meeting begins with the ceremonial saucing of the ribs!

“So, Jay, whadaya recommend?”

I’ve been to 10 different Famous Dave’s in four different states.  I’ve worked Famous Dave’s into the church announcements on one occassion and mentioned Dave in more than one sermon.  I’m definitely the one to ask.

“Everything’s excellent except for the pulled pork.”

And it’s the truth.  When a chain gets as big as Dave has, it’s just naturally gonna lose something.  You just can’t beat the mom and pop’s stops that are still making everything right in their kitchens.  But Dave is a model of consistency.  Honest-to-goodness wood smoked BBQ, learned on Dave’s BBQ journey through America’s backroads.  The BBQthDirector’s wife and I both had loaded baked potatoes with brisket.  The potato isn’t smoked like Rudy’s, but the brisket is heavenly.  Oh so tender and juicy, you don’t need teeth for that meat!  Of all the BBQ joints we’ve hit, Dave’s brisket is our favorite.  It wasn’t quite as smokey as it usually is, but still very tasty.  Raves all around the table from everyone who had the brisket.

The BBQthDirector's loaded baked potato along with a third of a "Manhandler Sandwich" stolen from BBQ Boy II.

The Manhandler Sandwich is the BBQthDirector’s favorite Famous Dave’s offering.  It is the melt-in-your-mouth brisket coupled with a “snappy” and tasty hot link!  All you need is a squeeze of your favorite Dave’s sauce and the sun shines just a bit brighter!

A big part of the Famous Dave’s experience is the BBQ sauce tour.  Dave offers five different varieties, three of which happen to be in my fridge right now.  Your server will explain the differences, including the regional origins and even help you pair the sauce with the right meat.  They’ll make some type of design on a blue plate with the sauces and invite everyone to try ‘em out with the tip of your finger or a utensil.  The BBQthDirector’s good friend, Pastor Jesse Johnson, tried all five, one for each finger tip!  I watched to make sure he didn’t double dip.  That would be sick!

Dave's BBQ sauce tour takes you to peppery Texas, tangy Georgia, and sweet Kansas City! Dave is a genius!

C.A.R.E. Chairman, Craig Wilson (that would make him the "C.A.R.E. Chair"), taking the tour with his better half. Sweet and Zesty was his weapon of choice.

Pastor Johnson said the ribs were awesome, and they sure looked the part!  Craig and Brenda Wilson reported the chicken to be very good.  No one had the pulled pork, because they trust the BBQthDirector.  Good move, C.A.R.E. members!

**IMPORTANT BBQ TIP**  Timing is important.  As much as possible, we try our best to miss the lunch rush.  We got there about 11:00 am.  You don’t want to go too far after peak meal times (say 11:00 am-1:30 pm for lunch; 6:00 pm-8:00 pm for dinner).  If meat stays too long in the pit (or warmer), it will dry out.  I would say 2:00 pm-4:00 pm is definite no-man’s land for BBQ.  It will be either dry from smoking too long, or tough from not cooking quite long enough.  I had a friend who tried Famous Dave’s and said everything was a bit dry.  He went after 9:00 pm.

The BarBeQuethMinistry! Rib Rating (1 bone being awful, 5 bones being legendary):

Ambience/Service: 4 bones

Sides: 4.5 bones

Sauce: 5 bones

Meat: 4.5 bones

Overall: 4.5 bones

For readers of BarBeQuethMinistry who also happen to be friends, I give you some miscellaneous pictures of our day trip which included a stop at the Queen Mary.  Admission is free in January for California residents, and that’s how we roll!

It’s a Rave in a Cave!

You know it’s true.  Al Qaeda is having a party in some cave in Pakistan.  I can just hear Osama Bin Stupid shoutin’, “Just raise your hands in the air!  Wave ‘em like ya just don’t care!  Now scream…”  Not missing their cue, the party of terrorists scream, “Praise be to Allah!”  You know it’s true.  President Barack Hussein Obama has given them much cause to celebrate:

With just a couple south paw signatures, our Commander-In-Chief has started the process of closing down the world’s most important terrorist holding facilities (namely, Guantanamo).  You’ve got to be happy for the terrorists.  Many will be moved to much more comfortable facilities and a lucky few will be released! 

Score one for the terrorists!

With my most sarcastic apologies to Amnesty International, I must say that I will miss Guantanamo.  I will miss the footage of terrorists living with chain link fences as their walls, completely exposed to the elements.  We have been more than gracious to allow them an hour a day of exercise and  to provide five daily calls to prayer.  There’s even a nice plush recliner available to them for their most popular recreational activity, interrogation! 

Speaking of which, President Obama has also done away with “harsh” interrogation tactics.  After 9/11, President Bush made it his top priority to keep the homeland safe from terrorist attack.  He succeeded.  A number of attempts were thwarted as a direct result of intelligence gathered from Guantanamo and other holding sites.  The Bush administration gave the military and CIA what they needed to do their job.  Here’s what it looked like pre-Obama:

INTERROGATOR: Okay, dirt bag, when and where is the next strike?

TERRORIST: I spit on your mother’s grave.  Praise be to Allah!

INT: (turns to assistant interrogator) Hey, go get Sergeant McTorture.

TERR: You can’t do this, you infidel.  I am protected by the Geneva Convention.  Well, mostly by Democrats, but a little bit by the Geneva Convention.  Praise be to Allah!

Sgt. McTorture walks into the room with a bucket of water.

INT: Did your friends out there tell you about Sgt. McTorture and his “Water Bucket of Doom”?

TERR: *gulp*

INT: One last time, dirt bag, when and where is the next strike?

TERR: In the name of Allah, you can’t break me–

INT: Okay, have it your way.  Sgt. McTorture… start the waterboarding.

TERR: Starbucks in south Manhattan at 6:54 am two Mondays from now!

Then the Navy Seals are deployed to said location and stop the attack.  How nice is that?  For those of you who’ve been living in a cave (and not part of al Qaeda), waterboarding is an ingenious interrogation technique that makes the terrorist feel like he is drowning.  His life is never really in danger, he is just absolutely convinced he is going to die.  Not a very comfortable position to be in, no doubt, but is it torture?  I think any of Saddam Hussein’s henchmen would just about die laughing at the question.  Now with the new administration, here’s what interrogations will look like.

INTERROGATOR: Hello, Mr. Ahmed Muhammad Muhammad Sheik Ali.  How are you doing today?

TERRORIST: I spit on your mother’s grave, you filthy infidel!

INT: I must apologize for your accomodations, sir, the Ritz-Carlton was all booked, but rest assured the Four Seasons Executive Suite you’re currently in is just temporary.  I trust you’ve enjoyed your sparkling water and plush bath robe.

TERR: I throw shoes at your grandmother!  Well, I wouldn’t throw these Nike Zoom Kobe MVP sneakers your government has provided, but you undertand the middle eastern insult, right?  Praise be to Allah!

INT: Any-whoooo… I just need to ask you a couple questions and we should be able to get you down to the spa in time for your mani-pedi.  Is that acceptable?

TERR: (checks Blackberry) Fine, my appointment isn’t until 2:45 pm.  You may proceed, capitalist pig!

INT: Mr. Ali, sir, if you would be so kind as to tell us when and where the next terrorist strike would be, we would be most appreciative.

TERR: May all the enemies of the most high Allah burn for eternity!

INT: Please?

TER: Never!

In frustration, the interrogator reluctantly considers pulling out the harshest technique allowed by the Obama administration.  By direct order of the President, this is to be a last resort.  Sweat beads on his forehead.  His pulse races in nervous agony as he second guesses himself.  Finally, he pushes away all inhibitions, not concerned with the consequences.  He must protect the Homeland!  He leans over to the terrorist, just inches from his face…

INT: Pretty please?

So, in his first couple days, President Obama has handcuffed interrogators and paved the way for a more comfortable stay for terrorists.  Amnesty International is thrilled!  But they’re not the only ones.  Osama Bin Laden and his boys are jumping for joy in those caves!  President Obama promised change, and here you go.

President Bush never gave the terrorists reason to celebrate.

BBQ Review: Albuquerque, TX?

Story/Legend goes… Pete Powdrell grew up in East Texas where he honed his BBQ skills using hickory wood.  He moved to Albuquerque, NM in the late 70’s and opened up a BBQ restaurant that has stayed true to its Texas roots.  The Mr. Powdrell has passed on and the business has stayed in the family, now run by Pete’s son, Mike.  I had the pleasure of meeting Mike at a wedding in Lubbock, TX.  Needless to say, I was shocked to be able to shake hands with a direct descendent of such BBQ royalty.  Really nice, cheerful guy, faithful member of the Fellowship Baptist Church of Albuquerque with a really cool license plate to boot:

Bro. Mike told me that he had gotten convicted over a message his Pastor preached about working on Sundays.  He decided God could do in six days what man could do in seven.  Mr. Powdrell’s BBQ is now closed on the Lord’s day.

All pleasantries aside, we had to get to the “shrine”.  The original restaurant is not in the nicest part of town, but we are quickly put at ease by the imposing, yet glorious, sight of their catering rig:

Sweet! We are greeted with a warm friendliness that is remiscent of … Texas!  Only without the twang.  But unlike the BBQ Joints in the Lone Star State, this is a sit down restaurant, which wouldn’t be so bad if weren’t for that strangest of all American traditions, tipping.  Certainly not up to par with the smokey ambiance in Texas, but, oooooohhhhh, the food!

The pork ribs were wonderfully tender and moist with just the right amount of smoke.  The brisket was great, sliced nice and thin across the grain.  We’re usually not that into chicken, especially white meat.  Served up on our combo platter was a chicken quarter that had the breast and wing.  Chicken breasts are usually dry, but Mr. Powdrell found a way to keep it juicy.  Not real smokey, but their house sauce made it mighty tasty.  More tangy than sweet with a little bit of chile in the background.  Very nice, just wish there was a hot version.  New Mexicans are fanatical about their chile peppers and Mr. Powdrell combines the local flavor well with his Texas best.  There was also the wonderful flavor of New Mexican red chile in their beans.  Very, very good!  The cole slaw was solid, creamy and slightly sweet.  The sausage was the weakest link (pun absolutely intended–insert growns) of the meal.  Not bad, just not great.

The big surprise of our meal was the ham and cheese sandwich we ordered for our two youngest to split.  The BBQ Princess (daughter Jenna, eight years old) can be a bit picky with meat, but she really enjoyed the sandwich.  I had to give it a try and realized the ham was wonderfully smoked.  Next time I visit Mr. Powdrell, the ham and cheese sandwich will definitely be invited to the party!

Excellent food and friendly, efficient service make Mr. Powdrell’s BBQ in Albuquerque, NM a “must try” for the BBQ enthusiast.  A taste of Texas with a New Mexican twist. I would drive out of my way to get there.

The BarBeQuethMinstry! Rib Rating (1 bone being awful, 5 bones being legendary):

Ambience/Service: 3.5 bones (good service; very plain decor for a sit-down restaurant)

Sides: 4 bones

Sauce: 4 bones

Meat: 4.5 bones

Overall: 4 bones

Fave Fives V: Cartoons

Okay, folks, we’ve got to lighten it up a bit.  I’ve enjoyed the mega hits and pingbacks since “Defending Dubya” (well over 1,000 visits in three days!), but I’d like to talk about a subject that has helped form so many of our lives: CARTOONS!  Here are my all-time favorites…

**These would be the classic TV versions (mostly from my kid days in the 80’s), none of the movies!**

1.  Recess (Genius!  This legendary cartoon covered every aspect of growing up in public school: the preppy rich girls, the athletes, the brainiacs, the swingers, and–my favorite–the wild animals in kindergarten!  I always imagined myself to be T.J., the mastermind of both goody-goody niceness and fairly innocent mischief.)

2.  G.I. Joe (C’mon, any guy who didn’t love the ultimate in animated military might was probably into “My Little Pony”!  Or worse … “The Care Bears”.)

3.  Inspector Gadget (“Go, go Gadget … {fill in the blank}!”  Not only did you get a mystery solved in less than half an hour, but you got to bob your head to that awesome theme song: duh, nuh, nuh, nuh, NUH, Inpector Gadget, duh, nuh, nuh, nuh, NUH, nuh, nuuuuuuuuuh!)

4.  Charlie Brown Holiday Specials (I just had to watch all of them.  Even as a teen-ager, “The Great Pumpkin” was a non-negotiable tradition.  Plus, for a kid, hearing all the adults talk in only an inaudible mumble was quite wonderful.)

5.  Tom and Jerry (Never caught it as a kid, but this cartoon was chalk full of political incorrectness.  They pulled out pretty much every racial and gender stereo type possible.  *Siiiigh* Those were the good ol’ days!)

Honorable mentions: Duck Tales, He-Man, Transformers, Richie Rich, and Voltron (any other “old” folks remember that one?).  Come on, folks, don’t be ashamed, share some of your faves!