Fave Fives XXIII: Store Bought Cookies

I know, I know, you can’t beat homemade cookies.  My BBQ Honey is the only two-time champion in our church’s cookie baking contest.  So, yeah, I get some bomb-a-licious cookies at home.  But sometimes you get a coupon or a great sale price or you just have a craving for Oreos!

1. Fudge Covered Oreos: What can you say about Oreos?  They’re iconic, versatile and just plain yummy.  I want to know who the genius was who came up with the fudge-covered concept.  Give that person a Nobel Prize!

2. Pepperidge Farm Milano: Elegant, pleasantly crisp, with a nice chocolate decadence inside.

3. Double Stuffed Oreos: How ’bout covering these bad boys in fudge?  Awwwwww, yeah!

4. Fig Newtons: It’s not just that I feel the need to be somewhat healthy and sneak some fruit into this list.  These often found their way into my sack lunches as a kid.  They’re comfort food.

5. Vanilla Wafers: Almost the saltine cracker of the cookie world, you can say they’re a bit plain, but their charm is in their simplicity.  Strangely addicting, I can just keep popping those things into my mouth.  I can eat about a million in one sitting.

More Porto’s

Porto’s Bakery, with its dozens of choices, is one-stop shopping for my food research (read my original review here).  I am commited to trying something new with each lovin’ visit.  With passionate praise coming from food review sites like Yelp, Urbanspoon, Chowhound and now the BarBeQuethMinistry!, it seems appropriate to document my gluttony research.  Here are the latest findings:

Cubano Sandwich — Roast pork, ham, swiss cheese, mustard, and pickles nestled into a pressed roll.  A very nice contrast in textures between the crisp bread and tender meats, but the flavor was just … meh.  My BBQ Honey said the roast pork tasted boiled and too “porky”.  The plaintain chips that came on the side were great, but we won’t be ordering the Cubano again.

Carrot Cake — Incredibly moist, with chunks of pinneaple and lots of shredded carrots, but surprisingly bland.  The cream cheese frosting was very disapointing, with barely any hint of cream cheese flavor.  The cream cheese frosting on a Red Velvet Cupcake we had a couple weeks ago was awesome.  Go figure.

Mocha — A classic espresso drink that’s my standard at coffee houses.  Porto’s 12 oz small is a decent $2.85.  I wasn’t overwhelmed by the chocolate, which is the first thing I judge a Mocha Latte by (Leonidas is still head and shoulders above the rest).  The espresso itself was interesting, nice and smooth with strong floral notes.  Fine, but not really a great match with chocolate.  I prefer a “nutty” espresso for mochas.  I’ll bet Porto’s makes a real good cup of regular ol’ coffee.  That’s probably what I’ll go with next time.

Tres Leches Cake — Score!  This is one of my favorite cakes, and Porto’s hits it out of the ball park!  I’ve never seen it with a meringue topping, and was a bit concerned because I’ve never had a meringue anything that I liked.  But Porto’s version has a richness that makes Marie Calendar’s sorry attempt seem like packing material.  It was just awesome.  Nicely browned and slightly crisp on top, yielding to a wonderfully sweet and simple custard-like cake on the bottom … sjod zxlgoll=ww … uh, sorry, my eyes crossed for a moment in delirious joy.

Of course, we bought a dozen cheese rolls.  Those are non-negotiable.

Fave Fives XXII: Food Shows

As a teen, weekends were for housework, yardwork, homework and the Lord’s work.  In between, I would catch my breath by taking in a PBS cooking show or two.  I don’t think there were a whole lot of very entertaining choices on TV on Saturday afternoons.  But you could count on Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet to cook up something that had an interesting story behind it.  I still remember when Elmo came on to learn how to properly saute.  And now, with the advent of Food Network, cooking shows have really evolved into spectacles that include travel, humor, science and history.  Since I don’t have cable or satelite, PBS is still my go-to avenue for culinary entertainment.  But while on vacation in a hotel, it’s on!  Here are my Fave Five Food shows:

1. Good Eats: Alton Brown has been the court jester of Food Network for ten years now.  His one-of-a-kind combo of food science, culinary anthropology, and cultural satire make for very entertaining television.

2. Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives: The super funny Guy Fieri takes you on a tour of the country’s most unique and quirky places to eat.  I find myself planning vacations around the restaurants he visits.

3. America’s Test Kitchen/Cook’s Country: PBS’s chilled out, down-to-earth version of Good Eats.  While not as silly as Alton Brown, I find their people to be very engaging.  Their recipes, taste tests and equipment reviews are very helpful.

4. Bizarre Foods:  A stalwart of the Travel Channel, this is one of those car accident type shows.  You know you shouldn’t stop to look, but you just can’t help it.  Well, I can’t.  I’ll try most things that a civilized society offers as delicacies.  Third world countries are another thing.  But I enjoy watching other people eating bugs, worms, reptiles and various mammalian organs/fluids.

5. Gourmet’s Diary of a Foodie:  This PBS show has the look and feel of a higher-budget cable channel special.  Various food writers span the globe in search of the most authentic renderings of the most popular cuisines.  I consider myself a Foodie and this blog is a bit of a diary.  If only I had the budget to do more traveling.

The Barry Bonds of Bakeries

Barry Bonds was amazing.  I’m not only talking about the fact that he was, quite possibly, the most feared hitter in Major League Baseball history.  The size of his head is just a wonder to behold.  It’s like someone stuck a pumpkin on top of his shoulders.  Amazing.  More impressive than his massively buff skull, was his almost fifty pounds of weight gain throughout his illustrious career.  He packed on most of the muscle after the age of 35.  He did it gradually, over a span of about two weeks.  In an era where steroids were as commonplace as gravity, Bonds did it with nothing more than hard work, good nutrition, and a clear cream.  Quite simply, amazing!

Which brings me to my most recent culinary find: Porto’s Bakery in Glendale, CA.  Garnering lofty praise from both national food writers and local bloggers for some time, Porto’s has a non-pretentious charm set amidst the eclectic boutiques and cafes of Brand Ave.  The place is gargantuan, busy and efficient.  There’s always a line, but the half dozen or so workers behind the glass-encased goodies keep it moving.  I despise lines.  Usually, the BBQthDirector will attempt to visit a food establisment during slow times.  I don’t think there is such a thing at Porto’s.  And for good reason.

It is, quite simply, amazing.

I was somewhat thankful for the long lines.  It gave me the opportunity to do some recon, peruse the inventory.  It was a feast for the eyes.  Everything looked sooooo good!  For the first time in my life, money was not an issue.  I didn’t care one bit what anything cost.  I was going to purchase what I wanted.  I was dead set on stimulating the economy in one fell swoop.

With some realistic encouragement from my BBQ Honey, I came to my senses and settled on a few items: one apricot danish, one brownie, one chocolate croissant, two raspberry kisses, and two tres leches kisses.  The treats filled a dozen-donut box.  To our surprise and relief, all this yummiliciousness cost less than a dozen donuts, just over five bucks!  I dare you to find more perfect croissants.  Buttery, flakey and buttery, they’re a treat in themselves.  Dip the ends in high-end european chocolate and … *drools and loses focus*  The other items were all equally evil, the apricot danish being my BBQ Honey’s fave.

With the realization that my five dollars and change worth of spending would probably not be quite enough to officially end the recession, I jumped back into line (I really do despise lines).  This time, I made a bee-line for the hot counter that was adorned with savory appetizer-sized goodies.  Bedazzled by the om- nom-nom-ness of this incredible food, I forgot to take pictures.  Let me attempt to paint pictures with words.  Potato Ball (excellent) – mashed potato filled with a tasty ground beef mixture (similar in taste to filipino menudo, which is nothing like Mexico’s tripe-filled counter-part), breaded and deep fried to a beautiful golden brown deliciousness.  Chicken Croquette (better than excellent) – a creamy rice mixture with diced chicken, breaded and deep fried.  Ham Croquette (very good) – same thing but with ham.  Meat Pie (good) – seasoned ground meat wrapped up in a pleasantly flakey phyllo dough.  Chorizo Empanada (excellent) – a classic dense crust filled with very tasty, slightly spicy, not-at-all greasy chorizo sausage; the telling feature is the pronounced chile flavor of the meat.  Quite a bit of yummiliciousness, but still not enough to stimulate the economy.  Once again, just over five bucks.  And we were stuffed.  Do the math and you’ll be impressed to note that we spent about 11 bucks for an amazing breakfast for two.

We made a return trip the very next day.  The only reason we didn’t come back the same day was because we went to a Pastor’s retreat 200 miles away in Pismo Beach.  We made Porto’s our dinner stop on the way home.  Croquettes, potato balls, and an apricot danish all made repeat appearances.  We experimented with the following items:  Red Velvet Cupcake (very good) – moist and yummy (I never use the word yummy), with a great cream cheese frosting; topped with red sprinkles and a rose petal.  Fresh fruit tart (excellent) – this item was picked pretty much for its visual appeal (pictured below with cupcake in background), but it also packed a wallop of a gastronomical punch; this is really saying a lot, coming from a guy who normally picks heavy, rich, chocolatey desserts.  Rellenitos (weird) – plaintains and black beans; must be a cultural thing; not gross, just not my thing.  Cinnamon Rolls (very good) – I like mine gooey-er.  Cheese Rolls (beyond excellent, approaching legendary) – I have no words; seriously, I’ll buy a dozen of these next time.

Good thing my church has an addictions program.

Andria’s Seafood

The lunch line going out the door: a good sign and worth the wait!

Ventura is about 90 miles from the BBQ Family’s abode.  We succumb to the beckoning call of its beaches, BBQ (It’s In the Sauce BBQ) and bargains (Camarillo Outlets and downtown thrift stores) twice or thrice a year.  Another great attraction is humbly situated in the quaint Ventura Harbor Village: Andria’s Seafood Restaurant and Market.  Along with BBQ, fish markets are one of the BBQthDirector’s top culinary research endeavors (with frozen yogurt just recently entering the conversation — yay for Pinkberry!).

With a constant stream of fishing vessels dropping off their bounty in Ventura Harbor, it’s no wonder Andria’s has some of the freshest fish around.  And the locals know the treasure they have at their disposal.  Try to go at an off time or you’ll be spending a lot of time in line.  If you happen to get there during a major rush, it’s worth the wait.  The BBQthDirector recommends that you try Andria’s Fish and Chips, which is some of the best I’ve had.  Made out of Angel Shark, which has a firm (almost chickeny) flesh and mild flavor.  The batter is just right and the fries have a nice seasoning salt on them.  You can spend a bit extra on Fried Cod or Halibut, but you can get those anywhere.  Try Andria’s specialty first!  The tartar sauce, while not earth-shattering, is good.  It’s available at a self-serve counter, along with lemons, cocktail sauce, malt vinegar and Cholula.  I’ve also had the grilled Halibut (locally caught, of course).  It was impeccably fresh, but just a bit bland (a little more salt and butter would do the trick).

On our last trip, we got two orders of the fish and chips, two orders of the chicken and chips (which were very good), and an order of onion rings (which were excellent).  We were thinking the six of us would be splitting a light lunch, but we couldn’t finish it.  The servings are very generous, which is really saying something as the BBQthDirector’s appetite can be described as gluttonous.  As I brought the tray of deep fried love to our outdoor table, there were a number of “oooohhhs” and “aaaahhhs” and even a, “wow, look at that!”

So, here, look at it…