A Secluded Beach in Malibu?

My BBQ Honey taking a peaceful stroll with BBQ Boy I.

Maybe we’ve just lucked out.  Twice.  But I think we’ve found the perfect spot for families who’d like to enjoy the beach without the crowds of uncivilized naked natives spoiling the view.  Just north of the very popular Zuma Beach, the Pacific Coast Hwy will take you to Broad Beach Road.  It’s a cinch to find as it’s a stoplight with a Starbucks on the right.  Turn left on Broad Beach Road and you’ll find yourself in an upscale track of beach front homes.  We know of two beach access pathways and suggest you use the second one as it gets you farther away from Zuma Beach.  This lonely, nameless stretch of dense sand is very flat, which makes for terrible surfing or boogey boarding, but the gentle waves are awesome for the kids.  Sure, we were there on a Tuesday from Noon – 2:00 pm, but we only had one fully clothed dog walker come our way.  We actually tried to visit the vaunted El Matador State Beach but the parking lot was pretty full, and there looked to be a photo shoot of some sort getting prepped.  One day.

My first full day off in a couple months also included a long anticipated stop at Malibu Seafoods (a review is forthcoming) and return visits to Fab Hot Dogs and … uh … Porto’s.

Not only does this picture capture the quiet seclusion of this beach, but it also serves to show off my serious passing skills and BBQ Boy II's receiving fundamentals.

The L.A. County Fair

Parents are obliged to provide their offspring with the basic necessities of life.  These would include shelter, nourishment, an education and a day at the fair.  If the fair was merely optional, no parent in their right mind would chose to endure such tribulation.  Whether it be in the midst of the mullets of the Minnesota State Fair or the tatooed Raider fans of the Los Angeles County Fair, it is a bit of a right of passage.  For parents that is.  It is proof that we love our children.  We do what needs to be done, don’t we?

First, we park.  Check that … first, we pay to park.  For ten bucks, one gets the privilege of increasing their carbon foot print just by searching for a parking spot.  The parking lot at the L.A. County Fairgrounds is so huge it should have its own zip code.  Once you’ve parked, you begin the long hike across the asphalt wilderness toward the promised-fair-land.  And it feels like it takes about 40 years.

Once inside the gate, parents are officially done and head right for the 25 cent foot massage machines.  But the sights, sounds and smells of the fair energize the children.  Their first inkling is to mindlessly bolt and disappear into the mass of humanity ebbing and flowing before them.  At first, the idea of losing the kids is a very attractive option for parents.  Then they remember such things as tax exemptions and child protective services and decide to keep the descendents close.  First things first for the old folk….

Food!

And there’s plenty of it at the fair.  Of course there’s the toothache and headache inducing classics that boast sugar, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, and glucose as their main ingredients.  But the L.A. County Fair is also heaven-on-earth for BBQ, deep fried, and “on-a-stick” fans.  The only problem is that food is so expensive there, it would be cheaper to just eat your money.  Nonetheless, the smell of hickory wafting from the beautiful black BBQ pits by the Chuck Wagon is just too much for me to resist.  That blessed bastion of smokey love right by White Ave is the best place to sit and eat.  It’s not necessarily about the food, which is pretty good in its own right.  The hardwood smoke mixed with the scent of smoldering mesquite then kissed by the sweetness of grilled corn and caramalized protein just works some kind of mysterious voodoo over your senses.  Everything tastes just a bit better in the immediate vicinity.

In addition to eating, the most popular activities at the fair include standing in line, sweating, and side-stepping animal poop at the livestock exhibits.  Goats, sheep, and cows abound in an agricultural assembly that would make “Old McDonald” proud.  Fittingly (and unfortunately), Dr. Bob’s Handcrafted Ice Cream is right there by the dairy cows.  Sure, it makes sense relationally, but the overwhelming smell of barn yard naturalism makes for a less-than-pleasant eating experience.  National Geographic has a really interesting book out, The 10 Best of Everything.  They rate Dr. Bob’s as the second best ice cream in the world, right behind Handel’s.  While quite good, Dr. Bob’s doesn’t break into my “fave five”.  We bought a couple scoops each of vanilla bean and dark chocolate, and sampled soy sauce.  Yes, you read that right, and, yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.  C’mon, Dr. Bob, condiments do not make for good ice cream flavoring!  What’s next, ketchup?  Worcestershire sauce?

Well, it’s a nice time with the kids, good exercise and great eating!  A bargain?  Not at all, unless you get free tickets (like we did).  We’re in SoCal, and there’s so much to do.  It’s not like we spend the whole year in anticipation of the fair.  Still, there’s a special charm about it.  Something that tells us to go to the beach or up to the mountains some other time.  Something that makes us overlook the parking and lines.  Not exactly sure what it is, but I’m wondering if that charm goes away when the kids are all grown.

Minnesooota? Yah, you betchah!

Dinner with Dave and free Famous Dave’s for a year, dontcha noh?  We cashed in on the first part of our grand prize early this week with a fun–and needed–vacation to Minneapolis.  They sure did roll out the red carpet for us.  The Hotel Ivy sure was one fancy-shmancy place, all dolled up with a 42″ flat screen, robes, slippers, an umbrella, valet parking, and turn down service.  Turn down service is the ultimate example of luxury laziness.  Someone comes in to partly pull down a corner of your bed linens so you can pull them down the rest of the way when you’re ready to go to sleep.  Sorry, maybe I’m just a tad unrefined, but I just don’t get that.

Dinner with Famous Dave Anderson was a definite treat.  VP of Marketing, Aric Nissen, was our gracious host and got everything going with an All-American feast.  When Dave got there, he asked if there was anything on the menu we haven’t had.  I noticed baby back ribs on the menu, which we don’t have out here in the Golden State.  Within moments of mentioning that, baby back ribs were on the table.  A bit more tender than the glorious St. Louis Spares, but a bit too sweet for me.  I’m sure they would do well in California.

Dave has a big, fun personality, but he also has an easy going way about him.  We talked about sports (he’s a Bears fan, good thing we serve a merciful God!), BBQ joints, BBQ methods, my campaign, and a number of spiritual issues.  Both he and Aric seemed to be genuinely interested in my ministry.  Dave has a tremendous amount of Bible knowledge and seems to be a man with strong values and morals.  It was a very enjoyable time.  They gave me a Famous Dave’s BBQ set (tongs, spatula, sauces, rib rub), a golf shirt and apron (both with the Famous Dave’s logos, of course), and Dave’s book, LifeSkills for Success.  The book is an awesome read, very entertaining and filled with biblical principles.

After dinner (and a bunch of pictures) we were off to the Minnesota State Fair, supposedly the biggest state fair in the nation.  We were there on a “slow” Monday night, but it was about as crowded as the dreaded dollar day at the L.A. County Fair.  There were more hands to shake, pictures to take and food to eat at the Famous Dave’s booth.  The place was packed and there was a steady stream of Famous Dave’s fans taking pics with the big BBQ guru.  Every year, they offer a unique item at the fair.  Last year it was “Pig Lickers”, chocolate covered bacon.  Wish we had the chance to try them, but we did get to sample this year’s offering, Pig Cheeks!  As weird as that may sound, they are amazing.  Those cheek muscles don’t do a whole lot, so they are incredibly tender and succulent.  Beautifully smoked, then glazed with a peach-based sauce … oooohhh, good night in the mornin’, those were cuh-razy good!

After a bit of mingling (which included meeting a fellow Famous Fan, Linda K), we were set free to enjoy the fair.  So I went right to the Ferris Wheel, took on the roller coaster, Hammerhead was next, and, just for kicks, we went on the sky ride.  I’m such a liar.  I’m so scared of heights, my pulse rate rises to dangerous levels when I get up to the second step of a ladder!  So without the BBQ Kids in tow, we held hands and admired the diversity of mullets gracing the fairgrounds as we headed right for the Spam booth!

Famous Dave’s then Spam?  Are you kidding me?  This was so much happy, happy, joy, joy in so short of a time, I felt like I was going to short circuit!  This couldn’t get any better …  could it?  Oh, baby, it did:

Oh, yeah, deep fried cheese curds!  I’ve already begun writing a song about them (stay tuned for another music video, we’ll see if we can’t book the “eye-candy-crew” again).  I think curds are the solids found in milk/cream that are separated from the watery part (whey), that is turned into cheese.  It really doesn’t matter what they are, these deep fried bad boys are truly one of the greatest inventions ever.  I’m talking right up there with the steam engine, refrigeration and zippers!  A friend of mine put it this way: “They’re dangerously good.”  Someone has got to bring this upper midwest delicacy to California.  I think it would be a great addition to the Famous Dave’s menu.  Or even P.F. Chang’s (how do Kung Pao Cheese Curds sound?)!  Hey, anyone, please, I’m begging.

Tuesday we got to visit with some friends.  First, we drove about 35 miles to Elk River to visit with an old college buddy.  Doug was in my dorm and in my wedding (and I in his).  It was such a blessing to visit with him and his wife, Julie, and their three kids.  After lunch, he took us out fishing on his boat for about an hour where I hooked a trophy 52″ Northern Pike!  There I go lying again.  Really, it’s more like a small exagerration, as I somehow mustered up the strength to pull in a one pound Largemouth Bass!  You read that right, folks, that monster was a full 16 ounces!

Later that afternoon, I treated my BBQ Honey to Hotel Ivy’s afternoon tea service.  Very upscale, very chic, very hold your pinky out as you drink your high-end tea and look smugly out the window at the lowly peasants walking by.  It was definitely a splurge, but we were given a generous amount of spending money!  It was a pretty cool experience.

Then it was off to Fat Lorenzos, an italian restaurant youth group alum, Philip, has raved about to me for years.  Another youth group alum, James (these guys are brothers), and his wife drove an hour from Owatonna to hang out as well.  The food was tremendous (once again, Philly, good call!), and the fellowship was awesome.  We truly love those guys.  It’s so cool to see them all grown up, but still pretty much the same.  Well, James has really gone down hill.  He owns a metal detector.  A metal detector, for goodness sake!  Does it get any worse than that?  Wow.

Wednesday gave us just a few hours to hit up the Mall of America before flying out mid-afternoon.  Doesn’t seem like the locals frequent this gargantuan shopping center/amusement park/aquarium/bunion grower as there weren’t that many mullets to admire.  I was on a mission to try Minnesota’s state fish, Walleye.  We found Twin Cities Grill and saw they offered the beloved freshwater fish on their menu.  It lived up to the hype!  Walleye is a delicate, flaky white fish.  We ordered the Walleye Fish Fry which has supplanted Andria’s Fish and Chips (Ventura, CA) as the best I’ve ever had.

I can’t thank you all enough for supporting my campaign and helping us win this.

I Go a Fishing…

My BBQ Honey and I fly out to Minnesota bright and early Monday morning to celebrate my crowning as “The Best Famous Fan in America“.  They’re putting us up in the uber-posh Hotel Ivy in downtown Minneapolis!  Monday afternoon we have dinner with Famous Dave at the Roseville restaurant then head over to the Minnesota State Fair.  There I make a celebrity appearance at the Famous Dave’s booth (I’m trying not to let my new found stardom get to my Famous head).  We’ll also have some free time to just enjoy the fair.  Think we’ll be visiting the SPAM booth?  You betcha!  Ferris wheel?  No way, too scary.

On Tuesday, we’re going to be hanging out with an old college buddy in Elk River who’ll be taking us out on his boat for some northwoods lake fishing.  He mentioned the possibility of Smallmouth Bass and Northern Pike, which would be suh-weet!  There are also some youth group alumni in the area we might get a chance to kick it with.  Then we’re back Wednesday night.

Thanks again to all those who participated in my campaign!

SoCal Compensation

Top picture: the BBQ Family at the Heaps Peak trailhead in the San Bernardino mountains.  Second picture: 3/4 of the BBQ Kids enjoying an empty beach in Ventura.  We just recently enjoyed these “Family Fun Days” within a week of each other.

I love Southern California!

Last year, my BBQ Honey and I attended a Pastor’s retreat in Pismo Beach.  One session that was particularly helpful to me was on balancing ministry and family.  I had about a 6-7 week crazy busy stretch during the summer in which I was unable to take a day off.  It happens.  But that’s why I get paid the big bucks (tongue firmly implanted in cheek)!  Sometimes there are unexpected phone calls or special church projects.  Sometimes I have to break plans.  While most people can enjoy their Saturdays with their families, I’m getting geared up for Sunday.  So what’s a preacher in a dynamic church to do?

Compensate!

My BBQ Honey and I will sometimes have a good cry when I’m about to go off on a trip.  I miss my family immensely.  I need them.  They need me.  It helps everyone to know that I’ll be making it up to them.  We go on day trips.  They miss out on a couple days of school here and there.  We’ll take advantage of the incredible area we live in.  We’re off to the beach one week, up to the mountains the next week!  How cool is that?

Let me offer up a couple tips for finding an empty beach, far from the uncivilized “naked natives”.  If you’re able to, go on the weekdays.  Drive an extra half hour or so to get away from the hoards in the O.C. or Los Angeles county.  And look for signs like this:

We survived the dangerous currents and had an awesome lunch at Andria’s Fish Market (a review is forthcoming; fish markets are a close second to BBQ as far as favorite things to research go).  Then we did some thirft store shopping in downtown Ventura and capped off the day with a nice visit with youth group alum, Antonia, her husband Robert and their two adorable girls.  Our trip to the mountains included a stop in Lake Arrowhead.  Always great fun and great shopping deals to be had there.

When it cools off some, we’ll hit the desert!