Fave Fives XXVII: Faded Fads

Not that I want any of these to come back.  These are the fads of yester-year that really crack me up.

1. 80’s Big Hair:  It was all the rage to get your “do” as tall and as wide as your Aqua Net hairspray made possible.  In my Jr. High glorydays, I used both mousse and “Extra Hold” Aqua Net to get the desired enormity.

2. Fanny Packs:  Most people never actually let these rest on their … uh … fanny **insert immature snicker**, but they’re still one of mankind’s worst ideas.  It especially cracks me up to see the occasional grandpa sporting one of these along with some chest-high shorts and knee-high socks.

3. Pagers:  Thinking you were “all that and a bag of chips” with a pager is especially comical with the advent of cell phones that can do so much more than vibrate.

4. “Psyche!”:  Or maybe you spelled it, “Sike!”  It was the cool way of telling people you were just kidding.  For example – Me: “Your fanny pack is so rad!”  You: “Really?”  Me: “Psyche!  Loser.”

5. Gigapets:  These little electronic toys needed to be fed and cared for or they would die.  Very demented, if you ask me.

Anyone Else a Big Baby …

… when they have the flu?  Under normal circumstances, I would welcome spending the day in my pajamas alternating between sleeping, watching recorded PBS cooking shows, trying to sleep, playing video games, lightly napping, reading and snoozing.  But mix in the feverish aches and overall yuckiness of the swine flu and it’s not all that fun.  Okay, I’m not positive I have the swine flu, but since it is supposed to be pretty much like regular ol’ influenza, what’s the harm in claiming the more exotic label?  Everyone here at the BarBeQuethMinistry! Worldwide Headquarters has been stricken with this bug except for my BBQ Honey.  She seems to have one super effective nuclear-powered immune system.  Which is a really good thing, since I’m a big baby when I have the flu and I really need her to … uh … baby me.  But I’m not completely helpless.  I poured myself a glass of orange juice.  Twice.  And when the TV remote somehow got knocked off the bed, I manned up, got out of bed and picked it up.  I’m not exaggerating.  That’s how tough I am.

Where’s my binky??

Fave Fives XXVI: Sports Nicknames

As a man who has adopted (and adapted) my childhood nickname as my one true everyday label, I have a special appreciation for nicknames.  Especially in the sports world, where they can find their roots in fanatical adoration or enemy insults.  Here are my faves:

1. Earvin “Magic” Johnson:  My favorite basketball player of all time was truly a magician with the ball.  His nickname was so fitting that the world pretty much forgot about his real first name.

2. Charles “The Round Mound of Rebound” Barkley:  A.K.A. “Sir Charles”, I think “Round Mound” is just the funniest one out there.  Fitting, too.

3. William “The Refrigerator” Perry:  Back in the 80’s, 350 pounders weren’t very common in the NFL.  I love the fact that you can take this name a couple ways: he was as big as one; he spent lots of time opening one.

4. Jerome “The Bus” Bettis:  Big, powerful running back who’s uniform was black and yellow.  Awesome.

5. Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson:  At a menacing 6-10, Johnson truly was ”The Big Unit” on the mound.  This nickname gets extra points just for being really cool.

Fave Fives XXV: Knock Knock Jokes

Wow, this is a big one!  The 25th Fave Fives list (I think I’m easily on my way to 30; might as well go for 50!).  Thanks to Daniel over at Dashprod for enlightening me on the unique and lesser known holidays. Today, Oct 31st, is not only Ol’ Hallow’s Eve, it is also National Knock Knock Jokes Day!  So, we just gotta do it….

1. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting Cow
Interrup–
MMMMOOOOOOO!

2. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
I Diddop
I diddop, who?
Eeeewww, gross, you did a poo?

3. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Little Old Lady
Little old lady, who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!

4. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo Who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!

5. You: Will you remember me in 1 second?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 minute?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 day?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 year?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 decade?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Knock, Knock
Someone Else: Who’s There?
You: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T FORGET!

Fave Fives XXIV: Cereals

Thanks to reader and youth group alum, Zaza, for the great Fave Fives idea! The BBQthDirector is not a big cereal eater anymore, but every so often my top choices are:

1. Cinnamon Life: Seriously, head and shoulders above the rest. I can eat massive quantities of this.

2. Life: Wyoming Missions Team members will know this as “His Life for Mine” cereal.

3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch: I guess I really like cinnamon in my cold cereal.

4. Honey Nut Cheerios: Growing up, this was an every-once-in-awhile treat. We usually had to deal with the rather bland and boring regular Cheerios.

5. Cocoa Puffs: I don’t think I’ve had this since I was a kid, but the draw of your regular milk turning into chocolate milk still sounds great!