Happy Birthday!

The BarBeQuethMinistry! has been in business for one whole year!  It has turned out to be a very fun, fulfilling and profitable hobby (thanks to JRP and Famous Dave’s!).  My stat counter confirms that I have legitimate readers from all over the world (shout out to Punjab, Pakistan!) and WordPress tells me that I have 361 subscribers (whatever that means) and many dozens of pingbacks and links.  Also fueled by the Famous Dave’s campaign and the mysterious power of CandyLand, the BarBeQuethMinistry! has been catapulted to well over 100,000 hits, as well as spending many weeks as the #1 Independent Fundamental Baptist blog!  Wow, thanks for reading.  I’m honored.

So, we’re celebrating here at the BarBeQuethMinistry! world wide headquarters by starting a new blog.  Not that I’ll be doing much more blogging but I’ll be concentrating the food talk here:

thefunfoodie.wordpress.com

It’s still very much in its infancy, but, if you’re into food, I think you’ll find it interesting.  The BarBeQuethMinistry! will take on much more of a personal feel, with more of an emphasis on NepomuceNews and Random Ramblings.  Whichever direction you go, thanks for sticking around!

Turkey Musings

Where in the world do they grow turkeys so big? Major League Baseball has got to have a hand in beefing up these ostriches. I mean, the drum sticks are bigger than my thighs and you can park your car under those wings! Scary.

My mind goes back to my first encounter with this 87 pound mutant at Vons. It was rock hard. Frozen solid. Should’ve gone bowling with it, but decided to bring it home to start the thawing process, which takes just under six months. Before roasting, the bird needs a thorough washing and for someone to reach into it’s mouth and retrieve the giblets (I know it’s not really the turkey’s mouth, it just makes me feel better to call it that). The giblets are conveniently in a paper pouch. Every year I wonder how and why the turkey swallowed a bag of giblets…

Many people boil the giblets in water. This shouldn’t be, folks. Giblets should be buried in the earth, never to be seen again! Or fed to the neighbor’s cat. But no, we somehow include them in our feast.

Another interesting thing one will find in the turkey’s “mouth” is it’s neck. Great place for a neck! I pull this thing out and wonder if the turkey is somehow evolving into a giraffe. This often finds its way into the boiling water with the giblets.

Many hours later, we eat. And no one thinks about the mutant bird. No one worries about the giblets or the 27 inch neck. You sit, enjoy the food, enjoy one another, and thank the Lord for His goodness. What a great holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Fave Fives XXVII: Faded Fads

Not that I want any of these to come back.  These are the fads of yester-year that really crack me up.

1. 80’s Big Hair:  It was all the rage to get your “do” as tall and as wide as your Aqua Net hairspray made possible.  In my Jr. High glorydays, I used both mousse and “Extra Hold” Aqua Net to get the desired enormity.

2. Fanny Packs:  Most people never actually let these rest on their … uh … fanny **insert immature snicker**, but they’re still one of mankind’s worst ideas.  It especially cracks me up to see the occasional grandpa sporting one of these along with some chest-high shorts and knee-high socks.

3. Pagers:  Thinking you were “all that and a bag of chips” with a pager is especially comical with the advent of cell phones that can do so much more than vibrate.

4. “Psyche!”:  Or maybe you spelled it, “Sike!”  It was the cool way of telling people you were just kidding.  For example – Me: “Your fanny pack is so rad!”  You: “Really?”  Me: “Psyche!  Loser.”

5. Gigapets:  These little electronic toys needed to be fed and cared for or they would die.  Very demented, if you ask me.

Anyone Else a Big Baby …

… when they have the flu?  Under normal circumstances, I would welcome spending the day in my pajamas alternating between sleeping, watching recorded PBS cooking shows, trying to sleep, playing video games, lightly napping, reading and snoozing.  But mix in the feverish aches and overall yuckiness of the swine flu and it’s not all that fun.  Okay, I’m not positive I have the swine flu, but since it is supposed to be pretty much like regular ol’ influenza, what’s the harm in claiming the more exotic label?  Everyone here at the BarBeQuethMinistry! Worldwide Headquarters has been stricken with this bug except for my BBQ Honey.  She seems to have one super effective nuclear-powered immune system.  Which is a really good thing, since I’m a big baby when I have the flu and I really need her to … uh … baby me.  But I’m not completely helpless.  I poured myself a glass of orange juice.  Twice.  And when the TV remote somehow got knocked off the bed, I manned up, got out of bed and picked it up.  I’m not exaggerating.  That’s how tough I am.

Where’s my binky??

Fave Fives XXVI: Sports Nicknames

As a man who has adopted (and adapted) my childhood nickname as my one true everyday label, I have a special appreciation for nicknames.  Especially in the sports world, where they can find their roots in fanatical adoration or enemy insults.  Here are my faves:

1. Earvin “Magic” Johnson:  My favorite basketball player of all time was truly a magician with the ball.  His nickname was so fitting that the world pretty much forgot about his real first name.

2. Charles “The Round Mound of Rebound” Barkley:  A.K.A. “Sir Charles”, I think “Round Mound” is just the funniest one out there.  Fitting, too.

3. William “The Refrigerator” Perry:  Back in the 80’s, 350 pounders weren’t very common in the NFL.  I love the fact that you can take this name a couple ways: he was as big as one; he spent lots of time opening one.

4. Jerome “The Bus” Bettis:  Big, powerful running back who’s uniform was black and yellow.  Awesome.

5. Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson:  At a menacing 6-10, Johnson truly was ”The Big Unit” on the mound.  This nickname gets extra points just for being really cool.