Making new friends is sometimes a necessity, and can often be very fulfilling.  But there’s nothing like the comfort of old friends.  Picking up just where you left off, even if it’s been a few years.  That’s how I feel about Fab Hot Dogs and, of course, Porto’s Bakery (my devotion to Porto’s is more like a culinary crush).  Like old friends who live significant distances from us, each visit is a cherished treasure.

Heading home from our “family fun day” in Malibu last week, we had a late lunch/early dinner at Fab.  A few things have changed since my first review (read it here).  Most apparent is how much more busy they are.  For an off time (about 3:30 pm), there was a steady stream of people, something lacking the first time.  Also there were five workers, up from just two.  I guess that’s the power of the BarBeQuethMinistry!.  Or it could possibly be the fact that it was featured on Food Network.  Maybe.

But back to our visit.  My BBQ Honey just can’t resist their Chicago Dog, a true work of art and an explosion of flavor.  I decided to get to know the L.A. Street Dog (foreground in the pic above), which is a bacon-wrapped dog with grilled onions and bell peppers, diced tomato, jalapenos, mustard, mayo and ketchup.  Folks, it’s better than it sounds.  So tasty, without the ecoli poisoning from an actual L.A. Dog from a downtown push cart.  You won’t be wowed by friendly, attentive service at Fab, but I’d keep coming back for more even if they were downright rude.  This place is that awesome.  Hot Dog fans, plan your pilgrimage soon.

Then there’s Porto’s, which was extremely busy when we got there just before 6:00 pm.  It’s a goal of mine to taste everything they offer and I’m learning that their cakes pale in comparison to their pastries and hot savory items (read my two other reviews here and here).  Don’t get me wrong, the Parisian (chocolate cake with chocolate whipped cream frosting) was nice (albeit a bit dry) and the Checkers (sponge cake, chocolate mousse, bavarian cream, and ganache) was very good, but the danishes, croissants and cheese rolls are epic.  I think I’ve tried just over 20 different items and probably have 30 or so left to go.  I can do it.  Just gotta make it a point to visit this faithful friend in Glendale more often.

I invite you to get to know Fab Hot Dogs and Porto’s yourself.

As a man who has adopted (and adapted) my childhood nickname as my one true everyday label, I have a special appreciation for nicknames.  Especially in the sports world, where they can find their roots in fanatical adoration or enemy insults.  Here are my faves:

1. Earvin “Magic” Johnson:  My favorite basketball player of all time was truly a magician with the ball.  His nickname was so fitting that the world pretty much forgot about his real first name.

2. Charles “The Round Mound of Rebound” Barkley:  A.K.A. “Sir Charles”, I think “Round Mound” is just the funniest one out there.  Fitting, too.

3. William “The Refrigerator” Perry:  Back in the 80’s, 350 pounders weren’t very common in the NFL.  I love the fact that you can take this name a couple ways: he was as big as one; he spent lots of time opening one.

4. Jerome “The Bus” Bettis:  Big, powerful running back who’s uniform was black and yellow.  Awesome.

5. Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson:  At a menacing 6-10, Johnson truly was ”The Big Unit” on the mound.  This nickname gets extra points just for being really cool.

I have a couple culinary missions in life.  First, of course, is to find the best BBQ around.  Secondly, I’d like to find the best fish market restaurant on the West Coast (we’ll see if I ever get around to exploring the other side of the country).  These coastal gems supposedly have access to the freshest fish around, sometimes getting their offerings right off the boats.

I first heard about Malibu Seafood on Food Network’s “$40 a Day” and have read many positive reviews.  I recently had the chance to make it my fourth fish market research project.  Though not situated in a busy fishing port, its location right on the Pacific Coast Highway makes for stunning ambiance on a clear day.  But let’s keep the main thing the main thing….

We ordered the Ahi Tuna Burger and the Fish and Fries.  The fried fish (I believe it was cod) was very good.  Piping hot, obviously fresh out of the fryer, it was flakey and moist with a tasty and crispy batter.  The tartar sauce wasn’t anything special.  Not terrible, just not any better than what you can purchase at the grocery store in a jar.  Also, you have to pay extra for more.  What’s up with that?  Burger is the key word with the Ahi Tuna Burger.  Don’t get lulled into expecting a sushi grade Ahi steak that’s seared on the outside and rare inside.  It’s ground up, seasoned nicely, but pretty dry and lacking any distinctive tuna flavor.  It seriously could’ve passed for a turkey burger.  Very disappointing.

All-in-all, Malibu Seafood is my least favorite fish market restaurant so far (and the most pricey).  When in the area, I would go back for the fried fish and possibly try one of their grilled offerings.  Great location, but you definitely pay for it.  And considering their prices, extra tartar sauce should be complimentary!

My BBQ Honey taking a peaceful stroll with BBQ Boy I.

Maybe we’ve just lucked out.  Twice.  But I think we’ve found the perfect spot for families who’d like to enjoy the beach without the crowds of uncivilized naked natives spoiling the view.  Just north of the very popular Zuma Beach, the Pacific Coast Hwy will take you to Broad Beach Road.  It’s a cinch to find as it’s a stoplight with a Starbucks on the right.  Turn left on Broad Beach Road and you’ll find yourself in an upscale track of beach front homes.  We know of two beach access pathways and suggest you use the second one as it gets you farther away from Zuma Beach.  This lonely, nameless stretch of dense sand is very flat, which makes for terrible surfing or boogey boarding, but the gentle waves are awesome for the kids.  Sure, we were there on a Tuesday from Noon – 2:00 pm, but we only had one fully clothed dog walker come our way.  We actually tried to visit the vaunted El Matador State Beach but the parking lot was pretty full, and there looked to be a photo shoot of some sort getting prepped.  One day.

My first full day off in a couple months also included a long anticipated stop at Malibu Seafoods (a review is forthcoming) and return visits to Fab Hot Dogs and … uh … Porto’s.

Not only does this picture capture the quiet seclusion of this beach, but it also serves to show off my serious passing skills and BBQ Boy II's receiving fundamentals.

Wow, this is a big one!  The 25th Fave Fives list (I think I’m easily on my way to 30; might as well go for 50!).  Thanks to Daniel over at Dashprod for enlightening me on the unique and lesser known holidays. Today, Oct 31st, is not only Ol’ Hallow’s Eve, it is also National Knock Knock Jokes Day!  So, we just gotta do it….

1. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting Cow
Interrup–
MMMMOOOOOOO!

2. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
I Diddop
I diddop, who?
Eeeewww, gross, you did a poo?

3. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Little Old Lady
Little old lady, who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!

4. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo Who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!

5. You: Will you remember me in 1 second?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 minute?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 day?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 year?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Will you remember me in 1 decade?
Someone Else:Yes
You: Knock, Knock
Someone Else: Who’s There?
You: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T FORGET!

Thanks to reader and youth group alum, Zaza, for the great Fave Fives idea! The BBQthDirector is not a big cereal eater anymore, but every so often my top choices are:

1. Cinnamon Life: Seriously, head and shoulders above the rest. I can eat massive quantities of this.

2. Life: Wyoming Missions Team members will know this as “His Life for Mine” cereal.

3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch: I guess I really like cinnamon in my cold cereal.

4. Honey Nut Cheerios: Growing up, this was an every-once-in-awhile treat. We usually had to deal with the rather bland and boring regular Cheerios.

5. Cocoa Puffs: I don’t think I’ve had this since I was a kid, but the draw of your regular milk turning into chocolate milk still sounds great!

Most people groan in disgust, but puns really crack me up.  I thought this would be a fun addition to my Foodie Fodder:

THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY DEAD AT 71

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others.  The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.”

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.  He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.  Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

**The BBQthDirector didn’t write this; if you know who the author is, let me know and I’ll gladly give them the credit they deserve.

As a nation, we’re broke.  There are complaints left and right about budgets cuts over here and additional funding over there.  Many claim that the recession is over, but unemployment rates continue to skyrocket while the real estate market remains very shakey.  We’ve seen stimulus packages do little to coax people into buying plasma screen TVs and bailouts fund posh executive get-togethers at luxury resorts.  So what’s the natural progression?

Ares I-X.

NASA’s 327 foot rocket is slated to replace the aging Space Shuttle fleet, which is, supposedly, retiring in 2010.   The hope is that Ares I-X will be able to ferry astronauts to the International Space Station, and, eventually, to the moon.  It is on schedule to be completed in 2017.  The Space Station is scheduled to be de-orbited in 2015.  Okay, I’m no rocket scientist, but something’s very wrong here.

Speaking of wrong, Ares I-X was supposed to take a test launch today, but some clouds are delaying that until tomorrow.  When, and if, it launches, the whole test will take about two minutes, with over 700 sensors on-board measuring a whole bunch of stuff.  The cost?

$445,000,000.

Our tax dollars at work.  Gotta love it.  Goodness, folks, I’ll take another stimulus package!  And this time I’ll buy that plasma TV for the good of the country.  I promise!

I know, I know, you can’t beat homemade cookies.  My BBQ Honey is the only two-time champion in our church’s cookie baking contest.  So, yeah, I get some bomb-a-licious cookies at home.  But sometimes you get a coupon or a great sale price or you just have a craving for Oreos!

1. Fudge Covered Oreos: What can you say about Oreos?  They’re iconic, versatile and just plain yummy.  I want to know who the genius was who came up with the fudge-covered concept.  Give that person a Nobel Prize!

2. Pepperidge Farm Milano: Elegant, pleasantly crisp, with a nice chocolate decadence inside.

3. Double Stuffed Oreos: How ’bout covering these bad boys in fudge?  Awwwwww, yeah!

4. Fig Newtons: It’s not just that I feel the need to be somewhat healthy and sneak some fruit into this list.  These often found their way into my sack lunches as a kid.  They’re comfort food.

5. Vanilla Wafers: Almost the saltine cracker of the cookie world, you can say they’re a bit plain, but their charm is in their simplicity.  Strangely addicting, I can just keep popping those things into my mouth.  I can eat about a million in one sitting.

It was a solemn night at the BarBeQuethMinistry! Worldwide Headquarters after the Chargers’ loss to the hated Broncos on Monday Night Football.  After a very promising first half (dominance, really, other than the two special teams blunders), it was clear which team was better coached.  Denver made a number of adjustments that seemed to send San Diego into an ugly tailspin.  What in the world did Head Coach Norv Turner do during halftime?  And why can’t defensive coordinator Ron Rivera figure out how to get some semblance of a pass rush together?

There are so many things wrong with the Chargers right now.  It’s not just the coaching, but they’re certainly close to the top of the blame totem pole.  Sure, they’ve been decimated by injuries at key spots, but there’s still a lot of talent to work with.  Norv and company have got to get it figured out.  If they do, all is not lost.  They really do have a pretty good chance at winning the division.  The main reason:

Schedule.  Of their remaining 11 games, six are pretty much gimmees against cupcake teams.  Of the other five, only two are against elite teams (Giants and Broncos) leaving three very winnable games against decent competition (Eagles, Bengals, Cowboys).  They can make a nice 8-3 run while the Broncos come back to earth and drop six of their last 10 games (they have a tough schedule and there’s no way stinkin’ Kyle Orton keeps playing like a Pro Bowler).

But here’s some nuts and bolts stuff to get the Chargers into the playoffs (Norv, I hope you’re taking notes).  First, air it out!  I’m talkin’ Kurt Warner and the St. Louis Rams of 2000-2001.  Yes, LT is healthy (despite just 70 yards rushing, he looked real good against the Broncos), but we can use him like the Rams used Marshall Faulk.  Then you’ve got all the mismatches outside (6′5″ Vincent Jackson, 6′5″ Malcolm Floyd, 6′4″ Antonio Gates).  Who in the world do you cover?  Philip Rivers has proven that he is a franchise QB, just let him go wild!  Build a lead then let LT run out the clock.

Second, stop trying to be cute with Darren Sproles.  I know, I know, at 5′6″, he’s adorable, but he has no business running the “power right” at the two yard line.  That is not cute.  Norv, just stop it!  He’s a dangerous weapon in the open field.  Get it to him there.

Third, stop crying about Jamal Williams.  He’s been a luxury in the middle, one of the best NTs of our time.  He made the mediocre inside linebackers behind him look pretty good.  Okay, we don’t have him, but let’s build a bridge and get over it.  Someone’s got to step up on the field, and the coaches have got to come up with a schnazzy scheme to get over our deficiencies in the middle.  That’s what you’re getting paid for, Ron Rivera!  Figure it out.

Fourth, be patient with Shawne Merriman.  We obviously rushed him back and now he’s kinda gimping along.  Let him get his groove back as Larry English learns from the school of hard knocks (and he’s not doing a half-bad job for a rookie).  Once Merriman is completely healthy, he’ll be looking to boost his value in free agency.  He’ll be a beast, and that’ll make everyone better.

Yeah, see, easy as that.  Now get it done, Chargers!